Dual....:-)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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