Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
