Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
