Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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