I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
