everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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