That's intense
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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