Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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