please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I want her autograph on my taint
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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