textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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