I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
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