all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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