so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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