I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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