I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
false alarm, still single
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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