If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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