i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
