i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
