This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
