i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
