I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
