I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
