Got a toothbrush?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
