Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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