I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
