remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
