His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
