Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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