Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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