i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
