She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
