nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I think I just sharted jello shots
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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