I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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