in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
