ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
