her vagine was all disorganized.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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