Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
