saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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