she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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