You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
