I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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