but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
