everyone is single if you try hard enough
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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