in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Randomize
