She's JV to your varsity
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If its not for food we ain't going out.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
