I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You are the jesus of drinking
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
