it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
