what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
