Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
