i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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