he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
