my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
