is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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